It seems that in our modern world that the image of “commitment” has taken on a dubious persona. Evidence of the disdain for commitment is found in every facet of our society. “No commitment” is a hot seller in advertising these days. One need only do a quick Internet search of “no commitment” to discover pages of web sites offering everything from no commitment phone services to no commitment dating services. In the spirit of no-fault divorce, wedding vows that once included the supposed straightjacket of “until death do us part” have conveniently substituted the noncommittal “until love is no more.” But in this non-committal world that we live, perhaps it is in an understanding of the real meaning of love that we find the value of commitment. In love and much of life, commitment is not only important but indispensable.
I was reminded of this indispensable connection between love and commitment by a story that I recently heard. The story was told by a Christian minister who had officiated at a large wedding in India at which 2,000 people were in attendance. The marriage was arranged by the Indian families of the groom, a brilliant young man with a Ph.D. in chemistry, and the bride, a beautiful, articulate, and well-educated young lady. The families had met, discussed the couple, and agreed the bride and groom would make a great marital union. Being an arranged marriage, the bride and groom did not know each other and had never met. Even as the bride came down the aisle and stood beside her husband-to-be, the groom did not look at her. As was the custom, the groom made a speech at the reception following the ceremony. He began by thanking his parents. He thanked the bride’s parents and others. He ended by thanking his bride for loving him. The minister and others were surprised and intrigued by his statement. What did he mean? How could she love him for they had not met nor talked to one another? What the groom meant was his bride loved him because she was willing to commit herself to him even before they met. Although marriage is an experiential relationship, commitment is an indispensable component. Bring a commitment to your love and you’ll reap the rewards of love. If you are not committed in love, you will not reap the rewards of love. [Zacharias]
As we examine the importance of commitment in love, we see a reflection of God’s nature that is stamped on mankind. This nature is evident in the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, “…even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. He destined us in love to be his sons though Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.” [Ephesians 1:4-5. RSV.] God did not create man out of need. Rather, it was a will (commitment) to love, an expression of the very character of God, to share the inner life of the Trinity. Man’s chief end is to glorify God by communing with God forever. [Johnson, p. 158.]
Here we also see that commitment in love or the lack thereof is compatible with God’s grant of freewill to man. By creating man with a free will meant the possibility of man’s rejection of God and His love. In other words free will and the potential for rejection of God was the penalty for the possibility of love. So it is on the earthly plane, to risk love is to risk rejection. Rejection was not a surprise to an omniscient God. Before creation, God knew the cost of His will to love man would be the death of His Son and is revealed in Revelation 13:8, “…Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.” God committed to love man before He created him, but God knew man would reject Him. But the value of that infinite love exceeded the cost of that love at Calvary. [Johnson, p. 158.]
Throughout much of history marriage has been a ritualistic and solemn occasion between a man and woman—a highly public profession of commitment to the most private of relationships. The solemnity of the occasion arises from the enormous magnitude and significance of the commitments—to take the marriage partner as wife or husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. This ceremonial language resonates with powerful sentiments that link us with prior generations since time immemorial and to an enduring and exclusive commitment to union while facing the uncertainties of life to come. The ritualism symbolically binds the families of the man and woman and attests to the importance of the unbreakable commitments of which God is both witness and participant. [Bennett, pp. 184-188; Johnson, p. 312.]
William Bennett called marital love that rests upon a foundation of unconditional commitment as “…safer, more enduring, and more empowering that any sentiment yet discovered or any human arrangement yet invented.” The reasons for such commitments arise from human nature which is rooted in creation. The humanist will argue that these things can be attained without requirements of marriage, monogamy, commitment to the permanency of relationship, and God. But such humanistic counterfeits are a weak, unsatisfying, and an imperfect imitation of a man and woman bound by unconditional commitments in marriage, “… the honorable estate, instituted by God.” [Bennett, pp. 184-188; Johnson, pp. 312-313.]
The story of the young Indian couple reminded me of commitments my wife and I made almost forty-two years ago. I had watched the young woman for several months. She was as advertised—attractive, vivacious, and had a winning personality. I was almost twenty-six, and she had just turned nineteen when I summoned the courage to ask her for a date. Three months later we were engaged. But what did I know about this young woman that would cause me to commit a lifetime to her? More importantly, what did she know of me to make such a similar commitment? [Johnson, pp. 99-100.] At our wedding a few months after our engagement, we confirmed our unconditional commitment to love each other until death do us part.
Love infused with commitment will survive the inevitable trials of life, faded youth, and cooled passions. And such love will yield bountiful rewards.
Larry G. Johnson
Sources:
Ravi Zacharias, “Volume 4 – Establishing a Worldview,” Foundations of Apologetics, DVD Video, (Norcross, Georgia: Ravi Zacharias International Ministries, 2007).
Larry G. Johnson, Ye shall be as gods –Humanism and Christianity – The Battle for Supremacy in the American Cultural Vision, (Owasso, Oklahoma: Anvil House Publishers, 2011), pp. 99-100, 158, 312-313.
William J. Bennett, The Broken Hearth, (New York: Doubleday, 2001), pp. 184-188.
